


The Five Times Ray Palmer Thought He Might Be The Love of Felicity Smoak's Life and The One Time He Realized He Wasn't

by holysmoaksoliver



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 03:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2492597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holysmoaksoliver/pseuds/holysmoaksoliver





	The Five Times Ray Palmer Thought He Might Be The Love of Felicity Smoak's Life and The One Time He Realized He Wasn't

The first time was the moment she told him would come back to work at QC. Especially considering just earlier that day she’d yelled at him and told him under no uncertain terms that she would never work for him. Subtlety had never been a strong suit of his. Money had always gotten him what he wanted in the past, be it friends, women, companies— whatever. He hadn’t expected Felicity to be so vehemently against him at the board meeting. Although truth be told, he hadn’t really expected her to be there in the first place. But still, he thought she’d be impressed if nothing else.

When him taking over the company failed to impress her, he thought he could certainly win her over later that night, when he pinged her cell and tracked her down. Ray had to admit, finding a formidable opponent in the hacking field was a rarity and clearly Felicity had been worked up about the situation with the company board. But porcupine flatulence was going a bit far, wasn’t it? He almost found it endearing. Almost.

But when he’d found her that night, she was at the hospital and their conversation left something to be desired. Clearly she would be harder to win over than he initially anticipated. So Ray Palmer did what he always did— he used his money to get what he wanted. He had big plans for Queen Consolidated and his research on Felicity made him positive that he needed her as part of his team.

So he bought the company she worked for.

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t his smartest move, not once he’d seen how she’d reacted to his previous advances. But she was clearly adamant about not working for him, so he figured leaving her no options was his best shot.

She came to see him when she found out. He knew that she would. She was angry and yelling and close to tears and she quit. None of which he’d been expecting. But he also knew it went deeper than just what was going on with him. He thought that her disappearing into the elevator would be the last time she would intentionally come into QC, but she’d surprised him again.

Felicity had walked straight up to him, told him that she’d changed her mind because she wanted more out of life and he knew. He knew right then and there that he might be the love of her life. It wasn’t because he’d worn her down or because he’d won her over. It was because she had made a rational decision in a clearly emotional moment in her life. And if Ray Palmer knew anything about anything— he knew about that.

—-

The second time was when she genuinely laughed at one of his jokes for the first time. They’d always had a banter type rapport but he’d never seen the way her face lit up when she laughed until she’d been working for him for nearly a month. He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said, or why he’d said it, but in those few brief seconds he memorized the curve of the apples of her cheeks and the perfect pink blush that rose when she’d caught him staring. He could recall the color of her dress and blue sparkle in her eye. And he knew that if he could just hold on to that memory, if one single moment could make him feel the way he currently felt, he’d spend the rest of his life trying to recapture moments like that.

“Go out with me,” he blurted, startling them both with the request. He had been thinking about asking her out for a while— since he’d first met her at Tech Village if he were being completely honest, but he’d thought better of it. He knew something was up between her and Oliver Queen and he knew that he didn’t want to get in the middle of whatever that was. But things had changed over the last month. She seemed more free, more lighthearted ever since she got back from Central City. And he wasn’t sure why, but he felt like maybe the timing was right now.

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. “No,” she stated plainly.

“Is it because I’m your boss?” he asked quickly. “Because I know how to keep it professional.”

She laughed once, without amusement. “This coming from the man who hacked corporate files to improve a speech.”

“You’re not going to let that one go, are you?” He leaned across her computer, grabbing a part for the new nano tech they were working on. Felicity had compressed the data as much as possible, and he had to admit, working with her had been more of a highlight than even he could have expected.

“Considering one of my best friends basically thinks I sold him out by coming back to work for you… probably not any time soon.”

“Business is business,” Ray said with a shrug.

“Exactly. And that’s why I won’t go out with you.”

Ray sighed. “Touche.”

——

The third time was when she realized that he knew what she and Oliver Queen did after hours. It hadn’t been that hard to figure out with the way they disappeared during city emergencies and besides, Ray had always considered himself a rather observant person. He’d hacked their radio frequency one night and learned that the operation was a bit bigger than he’d initially thought with John Diggle and Roy Harper being involved as well.

Ray didn’t plan on telling her that he knew, but when they were out to dinner one night and her phone rang. They had only been out a few times, neither of their schedules really allowing for much of a social life. But Ray knew that he had grown on Felicity over the last few months. He’d learned that he didn’t need the normal ‘money solves everything’ facade with her. He could be real, just be Ray the tech nerd. It was a liberating experience. They’d connected over their love of technology and their mutual flair for saying awkward and embarrassing things at the wrong moment.

“Can you excuse me a minute?” Felicity asked, already out of her chair. “I have to take this.”

“Tell the Arrow I said ‘hi’,” Ray answered and then covered it with a cough, sputtering and taking a sip of water.

Felicity stepped away from the table and Ray couldn’t be sure if she’d heard him or not. Although not how he’d pictured the evening going, he hoped it could be salvaged. She returned a moment later and took her seat, lips pressed into a thin line.

“So you know,” she said, hands folded in front of her plate.

“I wasn’t stalking, I swear.” He answered. A beat. “Well not much anyway.”

“I see,” Felicity answered. “My… associates are looking to keep this information under wraps. And although they’ve suggested an…. extraction… I informed them that I could handle the necessary arrangements.”

Ray laughed awkwardly. “It’s bad that I’m turned on right now, isn’t it?”

“They want to kill you!” Felicity exclaimed. And then looked around the restaurant, leaning in closer. “No one can find out about this. You don’t understand the lengths that they’re willing to….”

“I had my suspicions before I hacked your radio frequency a few weeks ago.”

“Weeks?!” she said, incredulously.

“I’m not going to say anything if that’s what your…. associates… are worried about.” Felicity opened her mouth to speak, but he continued. “And actually I have some suggestions that may help. I’ve been tinkering with this incredible projection mask that—”

“No,” she said quietly. “You can’t be involved in this. And it’s not open for debate.”

“Felicity,” he sighed, taking her hand in his. “Trust me, I’m not looking to play superhero or oust your friend’s late night activities. But the tech stuff… I really think I can be useful.”

Felicity sighed and shook her head. “You are impossible.”

Ray quirked an eyebrow at her. “That’s more like it.”

“He’s not going to be happy about this.”

“When has anything that included my name made Oliver Queen happy?”

The rest of the group might not trust him, but Felicity did. And for now, that was enough.

—-

The fourth time was when he dropped something off at her house late one night when she was watching baby Sara. John and Lyla were taking a much needed break from the six month old and Felicity had offered to babysit. Ray had never been much of one for kids, but there was something about the woman he was in love with opening the door with a sleeping baby in her arms that did something to his stomach. It made him think about the uncertainty of the future and how he was thinking more and more about wanting her by his side.

They sat in her living room with a bottle of wine and had an open and honest talk about their dreams of the future. She told him she wanted to make a difference in the world, which knowing about her work with the Arrow didn’t surprise him. She told him about her past with her mother and how for so long she had just wanted to exist and survive outside of Las Vegas that it took her a long time to realize that she could do more than that. It was a lot like himself as a teenager. He’d been so focused on just making a name for himself, stepping out of his father’s shadow that it took him nearly all of his twenties to figure out that he could have more of a life than just surviving.

“Can you uh… take her for a minute?” Felicity asked, her cheeks rosy and some strands of hair coming loose from her ponytail. “I just have to run to the restroom.”

Ray nodded, not letting his uncertainty betray him. Felicity placed the sleeping baby in his arms and once he got over the initial worry of breaking something so small and delicate, he actually began wondering if this could be a typical evening at home for them. Drinking wine, talking about the office.

Felicity returned a few minutes later. He caught her out of the corner of his eye leaning against the doorframe watching him. He wondered what was going through her mind. If she was thinking the same thing he’d mused just a few short moments before. That maybe this could work, that they could have a life together. He looked up, meeting her eyes. Her smile told him that yes, maybe… just maybe… she was thinking the same.

—-

The fifth time was after he told her that he was stepping down from Queen Consolidated. The company wasn’t right for Ray’s plans moving forward and he had decided to put all of his time and energy into the possibility of a new nano-tech company. He hadn’t told Felicity about his reason for leaving yet, although they’d daydreamed together about such a company many times.

“Was a going-away party necessary?” Ray asked, leaning over to Felicity on the 30th floor of the QC building.

Felicity shrugged. “You said that nothing that included your name ever made Oliver happy. I just wanted to prove you wrong.”

Ray laughed, despite himself. “Well, now that he’s got his company back, I’m sure he will be a much happier guy…”

Felicity sighed, her eyes quickly darting away from the more muscled and newly re-appointed CEO. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Ray knew that Oliver wasn’t happy that Felicity was refusing to be his EA again when he came back. And Ray knew that Oliver was less than thrilled about the fact that Felicity was still tied up with Ray in more ways than one. But Ray also knew that Felicity was thriving with him, both professionally and personally. Before she’d met Ray she was an executive assistant and before that stuck in a dead end job in an IT department. And Ray hoped that after tonight he could confidently say that she was venturing out in a start up with the youngest billionaire inventor to grace the cover of GQ. If things worked out the way Ray hoped they would, Felicity would be the head of the most cutting edge Nanotechnology company in the world in less than a year.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Ray said, turning to face her.

“Never a good thing,” Felicity said with a grin before taking a sip of her champagne.

“I’m moving forward with the company,” he answered, not dignifying her snarky remark with a response. “The start up, I mean. I’ve got some potential investors lined up and I’m looking at a space across town next week. And I want you to come with me.”

Her brow knit together in a deep furrow. “You mean leave QC. Again.”

“Well technically this time it would at least be your choice.”

She thought about it for a moment, he could see the wheels turning in her mind— something under normal circumstances he couldn’t resist. But this was different, this time it was more than just attraction riding on her answer. He knew that she was thinking about Oliver. But Ray had learned long ago not to concern himself with Oliver’s feelings. They had a professional camaraderie, but past that, Ray knew they’d never be friends. Because Ray could see the feelings for Felicity written all over Oliver’s face. Every time the vigilante thought no one was looking, Ray saw how he looked at Felicity. So Ray had never pushed friendship with him, not wanting to flaunt his relationship with Felicity. But this company was something Ray had wanted forever, and he could do immeasurably more with Felicity by his side.

“I’ll do it,” she said finally.

Ray grinned, pulling her into his arms. “You won’t regret it,” he whispered in her ear. And Ray wasn’t sure if he was talking about leaving the company or choosing him over Oliver but he meant every single word.

—-

His realization came just a few short weeks after Ray had left QC. And it came like a slap in the face. Especially since they’d been dating, pretty regularly for the last six months. Especially since they’d planned an entirely new company together. Especially since he’d lost his heart to her, bit by bit, over the last year since he’d met her.

Ray stopped in to QC to find her working on the last bit of a project they had started a few months ago. It was a holographic projection mask that gave traffic navigation, wind speeds, thermo-imaging and various other bells and whistles to the wearer. It would make The Arrow’s job easier and cut down on the real-time information that Felicity would have to relay over comms from the lair. She currently had one tucked into her left ear which told Ray that The Arrow was probably out on patrol and she was awaiting his need of her.

The thought gnawed at his stomach— Oliver needing Felicity that way— but he forced himself to let it go.

“Hey babe,” he said with a smile, pulling her attention away from the code she was working furiously at typing.

“Two minutes,” she pleaded. “I’m nearly done here.”

Ray nodded. “So I have some big news…” he said ominously, coming up behind her and kneading his fingers into her shoulders until she rolled her neck. It was something they’d starting doing for each other when one of them was hard at work. A shoulder massage to help relax and get them through the tail end of their day. In reality it was just an excuse to touch her, but he hadn’t told her that.

“Tell me,” she said, head lolling backwards until she was looking up at him with her head resting against the top of her chair.

He spun her chair around to face him. “Well you know the investor meeting I had today?”

Felicity nodded. “They agreed?!” she squealed with a grin.

“They did.”

“Ahh!” She exclaimed. “How exciting!” Her attention quickly was pulled away and her hand went to her ear. “Yeah, I’m here.” She mouthed “I’m sorry,” to Ray and spun back around in her chair, pulling up traffic cams for The Glades. “Looks like he just took a left on Hillcrest. Black SUV…. okay. Keep me posted.”

She turned back around. “Sorry about that. They’re tailing someone tonight.”

“So there’s just one condition to the investment,” Ray said, feeling his nerve being to waiver. Before walking in to the building he was sure she would say yes. Now he was less so. “They want to relocate the company to Osaka.”

“Is that in the Valley?” Felicity mused, her attention half on whatever conversation was going on in the comms.

“No Felicity,” Ray said, putting his hand on her face, capturing her full attention again. “Japan.”

“Wait, what?!” she said, eyes panicked.

“Japan. Osaka Japan.”

Felicity spun in her chair. “Oliver!” she exclaimed. “What’s going on?” A beat. “Okay. Just be careful.”

Ray cleared his throat. “I can come back and get you later if you’re busy.”

“No,” Felicity said, reaching for his hand to keep him from leaving. “It’s just… I mean, I’d still have my job here in Starling right? And we would visit the company headquarters a couple times a year?”

“That’s not the deal,” he said, eyes twitching from hers to the earpiece. “I’ve got the flight booked for three days out.”

“Three days?” she asked. “But what about…”

And that’s when it hit him. When she couldn’t finish her sentence. He already knew what was coming next, even without the word being audible. It might as well have been. What about Oliver. What about the Arrow. They were synonymous after all.

“This company is everything we’ve been working towards…” Ray said and then swallowed hard. It sounded like he was trying to convince her, and maybe he was. Ray was not used to people saying no to him and he thought that Felicity loved him, that they were going to build a company and a life together. But there was always that pit in his stomach when he really thought about it. Always that tiny grain of doubt that told him that she’d never leave Oliver. Because for as much as he refused to admit it, he’d seen the way she looked at him a time or two also. He’d just hoped that she’d come to love him the way she loved Oliver. Ray hoped that he could help her get over Oliver.

“I…I love you Felicity,” he stammered, knowing they weren’t the right words, knowing that he’d already lost, but knowing that he had to try all the same.

She pulled the comm from her ear and stood, taking his face in her hands. Her eyes betrayed the words she couldn’t speak. She didn’t feel the same. She wasn’t coming with him. She had never been his at all.

Ray cleared his throat, pulling out of her hands and turning for the door. “I hope he comes to his senses soon,” he said, choking out the words like acid. “You’re far too amazing to be reduced to waiting around for a man.”

Felicity swallowed hard, tears glistening off her pink cheeks. And then he disappeared, out of the office, out of the building, out of the city, out of her life.

He came back to Starling a few months later to tie up some loose ends. He hadn’t been stalking her but he’d run into her at a coffee shop. He didn’t comment about the ring on her finger or the glow of her skin, but he knew that he had made the right choice in leaving when he did. He might have made Felicity Smoak happy, but there was only one man that could make her a Queen.


End file.
